Critter Gitter

At Cardinal Construction, we do not sub out much work. I have a crew of talented men who know how to do almost anything on a jobsite. However, when the need arises, I’m not immune to hiring expert help.

A wacky client Marion called and asked me to come by and give an estimate for installing French Doors to her patio deck. She also decided to have us replace the deck while we were at it. A week before we were to start, she called complaining of a strong odor near the patio doors. We let a couple days go by, but it didn’t get much better. We decided to demo the deck and see if we could figure out the problem. JB started and called me soon after, “you’ve got to get over here right away and bring your camera.”

Under the deck were dozen of carcasses. Like the size of cats. Upon closer inspection we realized they were turkey carcasses. What the heck? So I waited until she got home and asked her what had happened. Sheepishly she admitted to throwing the turkey remains into the back yard after every Thanksgiving and Christmas for the last twenty years. “I guess the raccoons or cats dragged them back under the deck.”


Apparently one of her ungrateful raccoons had crawled under the foundation and died, that’s what was causing the smell.

None of us could fit through the crawlspace and I had no idea how to reclaim the raccoon body. I started calling around and someone referred me to “The Critter Gitter”.

He came blazing across town as soon as he got my call. He leaped out of his truck dressed in a jumpsuit and carrying some wicked looking tools including a long metal pole with a sharp hook on the end and a metal noose. He was a wiry young guy to be sure, and he had a crazy look in his eyes. As soon as he made his assessment he dropped to his belly and soldier crawled through the tiny opening to the foundation.

“I can see it,” he called out. “Oh yes, a young one, about 8 months old… got her.” Then he slithered out with his prize. He went back out to his truck, wrote and invoice, handed it to me and sped off to his next job.


Hopefully Marion has stopped throwing turkey remains into the back yard - but we sort of doubt it.